Three Tuesdays
My dearest Anna,
It has been three Tuesdays since I lost you.
I will never forget seeing you, just lying there.
I went to our regular coffee shop, at the regular time.
For the second week in a row I ordered both of our drinks.
It has been seven episodes of that show you like, since I lost you.
For that matter most of the things on the DVR were yours.
I’m just not ready to delete them, it’s the little things.
I don’t think I can just yet.
It has been nine Saturdays since I lost you.
The drugstore called yesterday and said
your medicine was ready.
I picked it up.
It has been four paydays since I lost you.
I roamed the store parking lot looking for a space
that didn’t remind me of you.
Bought the peanut butter you like.
knowing how you crave your midnight snack.
It is the first Thanksgiving since I lost you.
Dinner at my parents was nice
but not one person mentioned you.
I called and canceled Christmas with your parents.
They said they understood.
It has been nineteen Sunday
walks in the park since I lost you.
More than once my friends told me
it is time to pick up and move on.
What is so important about moving on?
I lost someone I love. It’s not like I can stop
loving you and find someone else.
It has been half a year of mornings
waking up and not seeing you asleep.
Many a morning I watched you sleep.
You are more than someone
I wanted to spend my life with.
You were a comfort, a constant, a habit.
It has been five months since
I have heard you tell me you love me
and the memory is starting to fade. I can’t lose it too.
It has been one hundred seventy four days,
sixteen hours and twenty-one minutes since I lost you.
To him.
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