Love Poem: Toenail Fungus
Gerald Dillenbeck Avatar
Written by: Gerald Dillenbeck

Toenail Fungus

Injustices, victimization,
oppression and other yucky events
of diverse varieties,
are like toe nail fungus:
1. both alarming and embarrassing
2. who knows where it came from
3. we would appreciate it if it would return
from wherever to whatever,
as long as it's away from me.

My brown-skinned queer and disabling kids 
taught me everything I never wanted to know
about the chronic sufferings of systemic injustice,
while my haunted dark husband 
taught me everything I never wanted to know
about the inadequacies of my pathetic attempts 
at too-White monocultural mercy.

"What happened to the chicken casserole
that was still cooling?!"

I used to believe this was a reasonable question
that I should rationally answer.

"Well, Ms. Fetal Alcohol Daughter
decided to eat it without using her hands,
because you told her not to touch anything.
That's why her face looks like the remnants of baked chicken,
mashed potatoes,
and I believe the green stuff might be peas
from ear to ear and a spot on her forehead
and all over her chin,
although her hands remain pleasantly pristine."

However, over the sometimes tumultuous years
of further impatience and defiance suppression,
I have learned to hear these questions
about domestic and global 
economic suffering 
and politically disempowering loss
loudly exclaiming self-justification, 
as rhetorically punishing Other
risks
without therapeutic opportunities.

"As a kindness to you
I choose to pretend that was a rhetorical question,
Because we seldom really want to know
from whence comes chronic toenail fungus,
or any other of the diverse aggressive behaviors
causing cosmic win/lose dissonance
and climatic behavioral/attitudinal disorders
as They are doing their MonoSupremacist best
with defiant noncompliance
against my compassionate communication, 
exercising
stretching
massaging
nurturing 
sacred TransParent powers 
enabling win/win vulnerable 
nonjudgmental Trust."

I don't know, it just feels kinder to trust
that compassion is healthier
than retribution,
and see self-defense against win/lose choices,
this non-zero sum political way.

Makes me feel a little more
like Wild Liberating Yeast 
absorbing offensive toenail fungus.

1. Embarrassed and Terrified by my own failures 
to pro-actively anticipate
unwise aggressions,
all the curious time,
with every Me v They fungus I meet

In each moment of oppositionally defiant opportunity 
for passion/pleasure neurosystemic redirection
through basic regenerative
co-empathic MidWay=TippingPoint=wu-wei 
reiterative dipolar communication 
empowering bilateral win/win balance.

2. Not really wanting to spend a lot of time thinking about my own climatic interior v exterior colonizing history;
health-and-safety issues of self-v-Othering
emotional and behavioral neglect.

3. Feeling like a MeWe win/win political worldview 
already nondually co-arises
therapeutic normative-natural healing values, 
worth,
dignity, 
sacred meaning,
honor, 
nurturing positive purpose, 
ego/ecotherapeutic win/win opportunity

BiCameral ToeNail Fungus DeComposition, 
as MeWe co-gravitates back where Parasitic Elders were comin' from:

Healthy wealth evolves from where you invest both feet,
avoid hostile infestation,
keep them movin' across well-nurtured soil,
clean unthirsty flowing water
breathin' fresh restoring breezes.

Wild Yeast
breathing in systemic trauma-informed nutrients
breathing out AnthroSupremacist 
neurosystemic Me v We 
defiantly oppositional fungus

Causing injustices, 
victimization,
making war, not love,
oppression and other yucky stress events
of neuro-diverse varieties,
like aggressive toe nail fungus:
1. both politically alarming and ecologically embarrassing
2. who knows where EgoMe v EcoWe came from
3. MeWe would appreciate it 
if  too-White monolithic
monotheism would return
from wherever to whatever,
as long as it's away from 
panentheistic liberating
neurosystemic conserving
win/win HolySpirited MeWe.