Trying To Remember
I’m trying to remember the times young that had me smile,
And to be honest it all seems hazy after awhile.
I’m trying to remember my bio mom’s face,
And I can’t rebuild, but I can see a trace.
I’m trying to remember the taste of that first root beer float,
And my excitement at the cold flavor in my throat.
I’m trying to remember siblings I no longer have around
Older and younger, from certain ones I haven’t heard a sound.
I’m trying to remember when I was too little and rode a bike down that hill,
But I only recall the flip and then pretending tough and refusing a pain pill.
I’m trying to remember these things, as I’m nigh upon a third through,
From childhood life.
And it’s scares me.
What if I forget you?
So now I try to remember,
Even before it’s gone.
Because what if it’s September,
And the year is nearly done?
I’m trying to remember my scares as you drive.
I know I’ll miss them when you’re no longer alive.
I’m trying to remember the annoying wake hours I have while you sleep.
Because I know I’d give anything for another after heaven calls to keep.
I’m trying to remember what you look like now, memorize every feature,
So I can see you when I need you after the final words of the preacher.
I’m trying to remember what it feels like when we intertwine our fingers,
So that maybe I can still have your hand in mine when only a soul lingers.
I’m trying to remember eyes of the ocean, with orange burned,
Just to gaze in them when you’re gone and your soul’s been returned.
I’m trying to remember the weight of you when I hold you in my arms,
I already know I miss you, the simple presence, but of course the laugh and charms.
So now I try to remember
Because I can’t bear letting you go.
And I won’t survive December
If I don’t have you when it starts to snow.
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