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A hearts bleak blackness,
Cold as ice.
Lie just once and pay the price.
Of 16 yrs full of sorrow and pain,
Sharing some of the glory and all of the blame.
You said there were no favorites,
But there in your eyes,
I was silently condemned, that came as no surprise.
I don’t want any apologies,
You never really cared about my emotional needs.
16 yrs gone, too little, too late.
What’s this new emotion? It’s a thing called HATE!!
Not hatred of you,
Please don’t get me wrong.
I’m tired of being blamed,
It’s the same old song.
Yes I’ve lied and I’ve said I’m sorry.
But I guess it was too late.
Because ever since then I’ve been cursed with this terrible fate.
Never believed when I told the truth.
Always thought a liar and deceiver,
Harsh words spoken, “Never believe her!”
I’ve admitted my sin, but still it remains,
Never will I speak the truth, my words never the same.
Thanks to one lie,
That’s haunted my past.
My present, and future, so happiness never lasts.
I’ve said I was sorry,
Meant it with all my heart.
But you looked away,
Thinking I was playing a part.
Thinking I was playing some weird mind game,
With you as the pawn,
So I just looked away,
My sorrow long gone.
I’m sick of feeling sorry for myself.
I’ve drifted past that emotion.
I’ve now moved on to bitterness.
And now I’m swimming in an ocean,
Of tears and confusion,
For what I used to be.
Never again will I be myself,
Never again will I be me.
Because of the lie that I spoke and your stubbornness to forgive.
With every breath I take,
With this pain I am forced to live.
Since you can’t forgive me,
How can I forgive myself?
Even with all I have, that you’ve given me,
My good fortune and my health.
Still beneath the surface lies,
What I feel for you emotions as bait,
As ugly monster ready to rear it’s head,
With a name as horrible as hate.
I’ve never hated you,
Please, don’t think that.
But I can no longer stand,
For you to feel like that.
To feel like I can’t be trusted.
That hurts more than you realize.
You’ve never looked past the surface to see,
Where the truth lies,
I hate only your emotions towards me.
I love you more than you’ll ever know.
But because of the way you act,
I make sure it never shows.
I know you love me more that life.
So please put aside this fault in me.
And tell me it’s alright,
Tell me you’re sorry so we can be as happy as we used to be
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