Wasted Love
Lost and losing a grip on myself.
I thought this was better than the worst, only to find hurt.
How much I hurt.
I am so confused to think is this what I deserve?
Just waiting till the light fades out.
Oh how I shake and throw my arms up enraged.
No pills or doctors can help.
Because I am stuck in a life that holds another time in a little glass globe.
Only to shake and haunt me as I glimpse at it, and turn away.
Knowing it’s my secret.
I live in a glass house where I don’t let anyone throw stones.
Perfection has become my dream.
I tell myself that no one loves you like I do.
Lying to us that you love me too.
I admire how clever our life is, for no one even fears anything else.
When things start to tumble I pick it up and brush our love off.
Like a mother kisses a cut.
I fold all my frustration in the linen closet neatly.
Shutting the frustration down inside of me.
Going back to living someone else’s life.
Forgetting how sweet our love tasted like honey in a jar.
Sugary and sweet.
Now I am reminded of a wasted love for you and how in the end nothing stays the same.
So all we are is a taste of love that was luscious in our dreams.
In the end words don’t matter and nothing feels the same.
I have the perfect life but nothing ever was.
It’s a daydream that I keep to breathe everyday so I know that we can be polished and
refined.
Oh how it so easy to lie to ourselves more than the world.
But the regrets eats us and we try sometimes to break out of this illusion of perfection.
To feel a sense of peace.
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