What I Meant To Say
What I meant to say was...
I'm sorry, and
I miss you,
And I forgive you and I hate you
I meant to tell you that I want to work it out
between us,
And it could never work between us,
because
There's this thing between us,
Though you have my whole and soul
I listen for your whisper at night,
All day,
I sickly dread crossing paths
I promise you I meant to talk to you again,
Unless I got in my way
I cry to you, at you, sometimes for you
But nevermore in front of you
You've made me stronger than that, though
I do love you
I meant to tell you that you're scum
What I meant to tell you was that
I can still feel your love
Your lies
Your kiss
Your sighs
The quiet way you left me in the night
Or the messy way I ripped you from my side
Your wish to die
Your guilt, my guilt, my lies
Nevermore I want to cry
What I meant to say is I'm drawn to you
For love of danger, or neglect
Not for love of myself (or is it?)
What I meant to say is that I love you,
But I choose me.
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