Love Poem: What would I tell my 19 year old self
James Bevan Avatar
Written by: James Bevan

What would I tell my 19 year old self

What would I tell my 19-year-old self?

At nineteen, standing at the cliff's edge,
News hit me hard, a storm in my head.
Reached out for a lifeline, asked, "Which way to tread?"
They said, "Return to your roots, keep it simple, don't dread."

Reflecting back on those days of rain,
Didn't know the dance, the length of pain’s reign.
Empty pockets, no dreams of fame,
Cancer's a thief, life’s its claim.

In hindsight, a scared little sapling alone,
Lost in the forest, joy overthrown.
How to find happiness, with shadows in the air?
Doctor’s words like daggers, slicing my despair.

Blank canvas, no ink, jokes my sanity's shell,
Cotton mouth moments, fighting through hell.
Playing the rock, while tears were the sea,
Family and friends, waves crashing on me.

Laughing on the outside, dying within,
More hours than a clock, no time to spin.
Why pen these lines, what's the reason here?
Maybe to tell the young me, to fight the fear.

Loved who I became, my soul’s true song,
No one can steal that, my pride stands strong.
Strength, will, and fire, never to quell,
Even when the abyss whispers its spell.

Lessons learned from my cancerous strife,
Wanting others to find more beautiful life.
Not stuck in the past, where memories replay,
Live in the present, bright on display.

24 years of dueling this demon,
Dream of peace, family time, and real emotions.
Not waiting for cancer’s push and shove,
Feeling the warmth of pure, undying love.

But the beast doesn’t know, I’m here to stay,
Standing tall, bearing weight, come what may.

What would I say to my younger shade?
Chef dreams aside, a new path laid.
Learn anew, where creativity flows,
Sitting and dreaming, where passion grows.

So, younger me, listen well, here’s the script,
Drop the vices, let healing rip.
Natural paths to thrive and bloom,
Longevity’s kiss, a spark that consumes.

Try ayahuasca, dive deep and uncover,
In the trippy world, secrets recover.
Find your truth, let the mind unfurl,
In this life’s journey, discover your world.

Stay proactive, with a plan in your grasp,
Adapt to change, make your stand last.
Herbal whispers, a reaction so fine,
It’s time to be destructive, counter the line.

Life’s what you craft, stay positive, not blue,
Grow into me, with a family too.
Partners and children, joy everlasting,
Live strong and bold, your legacy casting.