When Muse Whispers
11:45pm
i was at Andrew's,
she says
oh, i see, i say
you remember Andrew?
she says
i don't, sorry,
what about Andrew?
i say
i told you
i had a crush on this guy
7 years back in the PhD
remember?
she says
i don't mind, i say
listen,
after long hangouts together
and many frozen dreams
i realized he was a gay,
she says
oh, i see, i say,
and he was married
married as two husbands
and the other husband
who also adopted a child
cheated on him
and they divorced...
she continues
oh, i see, now, i re-member,
i say
what shit is "oh, i see, i re-member..."?
5 hours i was with Andrew tonight,
with my gay friend, and once in a week,
why are you mad?
she says
listen, i used to mind,
but not now, girl friend or gay friend,
i say, self-assuredly but uneasily
...when you act superior
unsuccessfully, though,
you sound lunatic,
she says
and worse,
when two lunatics join
not knowing where to go
and stumble in darkness
of their ignorance of each other
they are nothing but walking sacks of shit,
i say
oh, i see, she says,
mockingly
you are the dog of night
who barks at something
he cannot see,
she adds
oh, my...! I scream, am I alone,
where is my
"My Brother's Keeper" gone?
now, my muse, Atete, jumps in
she walks me out
and whispers:
"Ase, listen! you can't run
from anything like this anymore
face it! make it or break it!"
"oh, Atete, now i see," i say
to my muse--
my muse aims to sing
songs of Love and Hope for me
but there isn't time...
and i come back
to balance:
the struggle within
and
the struggle without--
and to think of this
uneventfulness of Being...
now, before we go,
let us close this goddamned story thus:
when your muse whispers
when you don't listen
when there is not much to remember
when there is not much to forget
you are at dead-end, at an impasse--
maybe you made them a Priority
maybe you are to them only an Option
you can't tell turkey by feathers
let your Life and your Death be
not like theirs...
if Love betrays
Luck doesn't...
listen, beautiful loser!
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