When You Are Ready
Kublai has swollen lymph nodes in his throat that is why
it is hard for him to eat. The lymph nodes have spread
down his back, he won't last long. When it is time he won't eat at all.
I will give you thirty days of pills to help him eat. When you are
ready...
Kublai was the happy white dog who came up to me to play. Genghis not
trusting ran away, stopped and stared. Not Kublai he licked my hands as I
petted him and started to chew them. Funny little boy, so smooth was his hair as a young pup, he would get so shaggy in old age. Kublai wanted me to take care of him, after Genghis saw I did not hurt him he allowed me to touch him.They had been sleeping outside by my bedroom window, made a bed out of tall grass. It was late March and still cool. I saw them running wild in the
neighborhood, chasing cars and people on bikes, barking at everyone and
running away, free. Super fast the two gypsy dogs. I gave them water, then food, filling sympathy for the little guys, when I came home from work they
were lying in chairs on my front porch wagging their tails at me. One day
I open the door and they ran into my bed room upon my bed. I gather
them for a bath. They chewed my house but I kept them anyway, furniture
did not survive them. Kublai would eat the carpet, chew holes in it like a
little billy goat. But we knew we were bonded and belong together. Through
the years they made me smile and laugh at their antics and being silly little dogs. Kublai was more reserved but sweet, while Genghis barked everything
away. Kublai wanted to play, he would bite at Genghis upset that every
stray dog would run off from the fence and not play with Kublai, the sillys
would fight more of a show, snarling showing teeth but nothing ever
happened. Just Kublai setting alone by the fence longing for the return
of whatever Genghis satisfied chased off. When young he would jump
up to me on couch or bed and want me to scratch his chest. Kublai always
had kisses. He liked to chew my hands, never hurt me. Now Kublai sleeps
a lot, the pills did work and he has eaten better the past few days. Sassy
and Genghis do not know Kublai won't be with us long. Sassy still uses
old fluffy fussy boy is a pillow, he is soft. I find myself just picking him
up and holding him, not ever wanting to let the little guy go. He still
squirms and as I set him down so gently Sassy and Genghis make
such a fuss over him. I don't think I will ever be ready, don't want him to
suffer but now he is still good. At times when I am at my desk I feel him sitting on the floor staring at me. He just looks at me. I call his name but
he never comes any more just softly walks and fades away, away, away...
Kublai a good boy, loyal dog. When can I be ready...
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