Where Do the Flowers Go In Winter Part One
She is Dead
numbness
not sorrow
not grief
Just numbness.
Over came me
My eyes they are dry
No tears can they shed
My heart it is the same
No feelings of loss
No feelings of pain
WHY?
I must feel sadness
But deep inside
Deeply inside
There is a spark of eternal Joy
My sisters they weep openly
A thousand tears of emptiness they release
From redden eyes
Even my father
Who I thought
I honestly believed
Had long ago
Stopped loving her
He cries alone in a chair by his bed
Alone in the dark
Gently the tears roll off his cheek
To his lap
Quietly
Silently
He lets them roll
Than suddenly he grasp his face
With both his big hands
As if to tare out his eyes
His head and back collapse to his knees
He falls from his chair
And snobs.
Yes even Father
Who treated her so cold
Even he loved her.
She is Dead.
Gone from this life forever
But that is what she wanted
When I was but a lad of nine
And she a lady of thirty three
Do you know what she told me?
When we were in the car
Just her and me
"I want to die!"
She said it
Just like that
"I want to die before I'm fifty
I don't want to age"
"But Mommy I love you"
Tears seep from this babe's face
"Mommy you must live forever!
I love you Mommy!
I love you Mom-"
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
I wish I was dead so I would never
Have to see your face again!"
After that day I stopped loving her
How could I love something I might lose?
How could a boy
A mere boy
Understand?
(continued Where do the Flowers go in Winter (Part two)
|