Why I Am How I Am
crying out in the night
pain rips through my body
my memories flash back
to the day he said the words
the ones that ripped my heart in two
i sat outside the door
as she told him the lies about our love
tears rolled down his face
i saw him shake with agony
she walked out and looked me in the eye
dared to give me a fake look of regret
i walked in and he refused my hug
i could tell that he believed every word
the look he gave was almost of hate
he grimaced and said he knew everything
i denied nothing; it was no use
tuning out i felt as if in a dream
i can't remember how, only that he did it
ended it and walked out the door
tears running he never looked back to see
the tears i had and to see me face
people downstairs, that were there for me
i had to act happy for it was my birthday
she dared look me in the eye and smile
gave me a hug and said she was there
8 months later and still so raw
as i look at the picture and the ring he gave
he will always be my first true love
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