Love Poem: X Factor Disaster
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Written by: Peter Dome

X Factor Disaster

X Factor Disaster.

She certainly has the X factor
Beauty chic and flair
And if I had one wish
I’d be her teddy bear
Eyes of fire
A wasp waist
And a big fat bum
With a tattoo of my face
Legs like a giraffe
Melons of a chest
Her hair is green and purple
With a mochiecan crest
She speaks with a southern drawl
And boy
Can she brawl
Like a bear in a hornets nest
She can drink any man under the table
She’s always willing
And able
she has a slight nervous twitch
We have been seeing each other
For a bit
She has ten fingers
And  twelve toes
And a great big wart 
On the end of her Roman nose
She sings like
Louie Armstrong
And has Budgie lips
As strong as a bull
With an iron grip
loves watching soaps
All day
Puts our relationship on the ropes
Agile as a monkey
With the brain of a brick
I don’t know what it was
But somehow we clicked
Yes we married young
As  her Father stood behind us
With his gun
We have our ups and downs
I once said something 
When she was watching a soap
And now she pushes me in a wheelchair 
Through town
I love her with most of my heart
And in her own way
I think she loves me
But not when there’s soaps on TV!!!!.

‘’Influenced by an ex girlfriend 
Who was so obsessed with watching soaps.
 I had to book an appointment
To see her for two minutes in the advert breaks 
While she put the kettle on. 
I had to buy a TV times magazine to keep up
To date for a two minute date
I hate soaps.’’









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