Love Poems About Humor or Humor Love Poems
by Tim Smith |
Categories: friendship, love,

Friendship

You said age's only a number, beauty's skin deep
Wise words to live by, now if I could only sleep
Humor never can be taken away, have no regrets
Live like there's no tomorrow, an elephant never forgets

Since the day we met, things have been so right
Thankful for our meeting, making spirits bright
No more feeling lonely, no more feeling stressed
Friendships have started, I am feeling blessed

Not a day has passed without a smile on my face
Feeling happy has now become commonplace
Brought together by chance or was it by fate
Any way you put it, my friend, you are truly great

by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: funny, humor,

Chainsaw Blues - Bawdy Limerick Lol

There was a lumberjack from Borehamwood 
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life now a mess 
And it caused him great stress
So he made himself one out of some wood .  
                         ~
He went to bed one night full of desire
Sue his wife put on her sexy attire 
Things got steamy and hot 
He gave it all he got  
But with passion and friction it caught fire . 




Written 5th March 2019.

For make me actually LOL 2 poetry contest 

Sponsored by Nina Parmenter.

by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: humor, love,

Knowin How To Keep Em

Oh don't think that I ain't seein'
As you roll those purty eyes,'
And my man stands there a gawkin'
Like he'd won some sort of prize.

My ma taught me how to keep em
And to cut you down to size.
For there ain't no man worth havin'
Can resist my apple pies.


by Black Eyed Susan |
Categories: funny, humorous, journey, poems,

Poems For My Alien Abductors: a Ride Into Space

I thought I could wow them with poems from earth
Poems of joy and humor, poems extolling it’s worth
So I laid out poems from Michael, Gail, and me
From Andrea, David, Gwen, and Ilene
From PD, Harry, Mandy, and Chris
From Jack, Craig, Cyndi, and Liz…
For I was sure once they read our beautiful works
They would embrace us and love our humanly quirks!
So last night I taped them all over my skin
Knowing they’d find them if they took me again…

When I woke up, they were gone and I had a reply:
“We enjoyed reading those poems last night, 
And thanks for the names of the earthlings too -
We have many more experiments to do!”


2/7/13
For Michael's boomerang...send your poem for a ride contest

by Rhona Mcferran |
Categories: food, humor, humorous, silly,

Cheesecake Nightmare

Love me or hate me
few people can take me
plain, unadulterated, true to myself
their compulsive need to gussy me up
or completely disguise me
gives me nightmares...
Horrible- horrible!

The worst is where
they try to make me
Savory.

Suffocated in sauces, sweet relish
and pickled beets
garnished with green olives
and fussy-cut vienna sausages
all dancing in fancy chorus lines
on top of me
Oh No! I can't take it...
It just can't be!

What are they thinking?!

I awake with a snug sensation
as something warmish
drapes and
drizzles
down my back
AAAAAHHH!
Caramel sauce-
Thank God!

by Robert Ronnow |
Categories: bird, humor, insect, love, men, poetry, wine,

Can Poetry Matter

In the debate between accessible and difficult poems
Poets' poems and poems for people
Only the single poem and private reader matter

Both kinds and anything between can matter or not
Solid or made of air, a vase or heavy clay ashtray
One word repeated or many like a lei

An acquired taste, like wine, and like wine
Not sustenance, yet men die with their miseries
Uncut without it, news and mere matter

I advise everyone to keep a personal anthology of poems that matter
Or not. Perhaps it should be novels. Stones, insect wings,
Feathers, Birds you've seen, People loved.

by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: funny, humor,

3 Musketeers a Collaboration With Casarah Nance and Tim Smith

I wrote a poem of despair 
My hearts been tossed up into the air 

She wrote a limerick that was taboo 
She made me laugh when I was so blue 

Entering stage left was Tim 
Writing of past lovers sins in a hymn 

It seems that we laugh or we cry 
We live, we love, or we die 

The three of us, holding poetic swords up high 
Throughout the ages we all do fly 

No subject goes unspoken 
For the freedom of words we've awoken 

No battle to long or too fierce 
Our duels are true and unrehearsed. 

Through blood, sweat and tears 
A bond so strong that sweetens the years 

All for one and one for all 
Let us carry on and have a ball!

by Anais Vionet |
Categories: 11th grade, care, christmas, feelings, holiday, humor, teen,

Old Fashioned Christmas

It’ll be an old fashioned Christmas,
with Santa due down the chute.
I bet he Purells his reindeer, 
and Lysols his hazmat suit.

It’s an old fashioned Christmas.
We’ll all have on our masks,
and our muffled yuletide carols,
will be just like seasons past.

We’ll observe all the guidelines.
We’ll eat six feet apart.
We’ll have disinfectant under the mistletoe,
and keep safety in our hearts.

Sure, it’s an old fashioned Christmas.
One unique to the times.
The love this year might be careful,
but the feelings are genuine.

by Paula Goldsmith |
Categories: hate, humor, love, relationship, today, together, uplifting,

Today

Today,
I love you.
Today,
I hate you.
This week,
I love you,
This week,
I hate you.
Can this go on,
it has for years.
This love hate relationship,
is now over.
I am kicking you to the curb,
to the trash can you must go.
Did you figure me out,
I am your bathroom scale.
Hooray~you are gone.

by Bruce Adams |
Categories: love,

Distant Love

Oh, love from a distance
     Such passion is mine
     I never thought possible
     An ocean's deep mystery line
 
     Soulmate's hearts beat as one
     From only the written word
     Openness, honesty, is all it takes
     World history, such passion unheard
     
     Her beauty astounding,  angel in disguise 
     Jealous Kings of Europe would have fought war
     Her kindness and humor melt coldest hearts
     Brilliant and creative too, she makes my heart soar

     My distant soulmate, who I may never meet
     Shared love from a distance, a powerful, magical feat

by Hat Bueckert |
Categories: humor, silly,

Just a Bit of Dust

Recently learned the word malaprop,  didn't want to dally on this something silly, cheers dilly


The dust flew off the top of the sealant fan
Frantically I started to clean my barns out
I swept it quickly up in my little dust pan
Worked up quite a thirst, without a drought

I spot checked with a test of the right glove
Everything finally seeming so slick and span
Until in the room walked the life of my love
And he turned on that damned dusty fan

I screamed and yelled from the tip of my lung
And passed a list of chores called honey poo
Is that what it's called? it's on the top of my tongue
Swept up all the dust again, that's what my honey do

by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: adventure, caregiving, celebration, confusion, desire, feelings, funny, humor, identity, life, october,

Sweet and Salty -Libra Tale

LIBRA  TALE

Sweet and Sour hectic sign
Love me, trust me, the stars align
   Balance of truth and dare
   Good and Evil, full of care 
Blind when it comes to blood line


 
:) PD

by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: beauty, cute love, grave, humor, obituary,

I Found a Girlfriend

Took me the breath of all my life
A soul mate who could consume my heart wither a smile
I found that Gothic girl after dark
A little to late to consummate
I lie in waiting with a dead round smile
Empty eyes and a lot of guile
I found a girlfriend even if late
We lie together
Frigid is our state

by Jan Allison |
Categories: humor, poetry, writing,

I Aim To Entertain You

I Love Writing Poetry My words flow freely Once my brain gets into the groove If possible I try my best to write with humour Because laughter is the best medicine … and it is much cheaper than a prescription! 3~08~15 Contest – Fibonacci – Rob Carmack Checked with how many syllables 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 ~awarded 15th place~

by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, funny love, giggle, humor, people, silly, tree,

Out Pops - a Collab With Olive Eloisa Guillermo

Two poets who couldn't agree Raise their voices to their loud pleas One wasn't able to stop His zip open, out pops! Haha, it's a pea, not the size of a tree ©J. A. Fraser and O. E. Guillermo 15.18pm, April 07, 2015

by Brian Morton |
Categories: desire, humor, innocence, loneliness, love, science, youth,

Bottled Love Haiku

If love is a drug
my chemist doesn't have it.
Where can I find some?

by Viv Wigley |
Categories: humor,

The Ballad of Connie Marcum Wong

An idiom by which she's always stuck
is 'having one's head buried in a book'
The truth behind it, she was unprepared
that morning as she went to climb the stairs.
Stopping to lift a bottle, bad mistake
especially when one isn't quite awake
her balance gone, could not control herself
now plunging headlong into the book shelf.
Bruised head, bruised knees,bruised pride was quite enough,
thankfully, make-up would disguise the scuffs.
But then she only went and made it worse
by saying that it would make a good verse.

Hopefully next time she will be wiser
and not tell me, but tell 'Trip Advisor'

29th August 2016
With love, Connie, from Viv x

by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, humor,

Doodle the Footle 2 Tootle

I so love this form called Footle It allows the poet to doodle With so few words Whether right or absurd Now read , short trip, lets tootle < ;-) >

by Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories: death, humor,

- Lifeless -

From one second to the next
Love is our strength and honor, while we are still alive

The body feels cold and stiff
Searching for heart beat ... breathe ... pulse
One, two, three .... one, two, three
Please

With eyes full of tears
One, two, three .... one, two, three
Fearing the silence ... and darkness

Power failure
... I did my best










24.02.2017
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved

by Edward Ibeh |
Categories: drug, humor, love, romantic,

That Four Letter Word, Love

Look in your eyes unveils a smoldering ember that could make Gibraltar crumble.
One in a million heart that magically kindles fire without matches. Nothing...
Ventured, nothing gained in this rewarding game of love; a four letter word that
Emanates such sweet ecstasy. And no, I don't mean the drug.



Universal Acrostic Collaboration Poetry Contest/Winner(1st Place)
Sponsored by: Steven Henderson
Date written: and posted 04/01/2016

by Jamila Strong |
Categories: anniversary, girlfriend-boyfriend, love

Recipe For Love

Step 1, take two friends before they are lovers
Show them how to share with oneanother
Add a slice of intinmacy of becoming one
Like holding hands under the sun
Now subtract the bitterness and add the sweet
The flavor of a kiss should taste like a treat
Give her a compliment and 1 soft caress
Then rest your head against his chest
1 cup of humor and 1/2 a cup of concern
A pinch of assertiveness
But too much will burn!
100 kisses a day will keep the doctor away
A drop of hope then mix in family and friends
Your recipe for love
Will never come to an end.

by Cona Adams |
Categories: bible, creation, cute love, humor, humorous,

A Slight Improvement

Genesis 1:27 
God creates male and female


A Slight Improvement

All it took was one rib,
Adam wouldn’t miss it.
Look what he gained.

At first sight, he uttered
an ancient word the equivalent 
of the modern, “Wow!”

From the best use of a rib
of all time, came a creature
capable of charm, seduction,
procreation, gentleness, envy,
love, virtue, loyalty, jealousy,
deceit, and an affinity for salt.

Though she came from man,
she seeks always to best him,
and considers herself superior
in every way. After all, she has
that extra rib.

First Appeared in Galaxy of Verse.

by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: cancer, me,

Counting Every Blessing

I thank our Lord for the blessings bestowed:

Even though my wound still oozes, my skin cancer was completely removed
My fingernails are unusually strong and I have emery board access
The food I eat may be cheap and meager, but at least it keeps me alive
Much free time is mine because little work is available
How lucky I am to have friends who will laugh and cry with me at life’s troubles
I appreciate the ability to love and show compassion
Thankfully, I don’t drool too much when I eat
And most of all I am blessed with a sense of humor




* For Dane Ann’s “Blessings” contest.  (Yes, my cholesterol truly is that high.)

by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: humor, pets,

Pet My Pet

Well I love my little poodlab-shitziddle
Though His paws are really large and his legs are rather small
And his body's kind-a chubby 'round the middle
His hair is like it's crocheted to his body
But he's covered by some bangs both north and south
Which make his feeding time, for me quite awkward 
"Cause, I'm not sure at what end I"ll find his mouth

by Charles Hamouth |
Categories: conflict, crazy, love hurts, relationship,

She

Preposterous, I am not a junk-food addict!
The recipe was good;
The presentation was great;
The final dish, however, was disappointing.
It could have used a teaspoon full of warmth
And maybe a dash of humor.
A crowd pleaser, at first, to be sure,
But not worth the effort.